The View from my 100mm Lens - Kelly Kuvakas
Sabbatical
August - October 2017
The View from my 100mm Lens
Thoughts and Images from Pastor's Wife and Photographer
Kelly Kuvakas
(written for my husband, John Kuvakas' blog: theviewfrommychair.blogspot.com)
August - October 2017
The View from my 100mm Lens
Thoughts and Images from Pastor's Wife and Photographer
Kelly Kuvakas
(written for my husband, John Kuvakas' blog: theviewfrommychair.blogspot.com)
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| Farm Workers - near Mont Saint-Michel, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
Lusting After Other Lenses
I'd seen the gorgeous images it could produce - sparkling wedding rings atop handwritten invitations and the equally heart-stopping close-ups of tiny baby hands and feet nine months later. As a seasoned wedding and portrait photographer, I wanted this lens!
It didn't matter that I already had three excellent lenses in my gear bag.
I was sure nothing I owned could produce what the coveted Canon 100mm macro 2.8 could.
Fourteen months later, savings and (mostly Pinterest) research completed, I proudly announced to my husband my decision to buy the lens before leaving for our three month (mostly European) sabbatical.
This was just so that it would be delivered and ready to use at my friend's wedding the weekend we returned home in November.
I'd seen the gorgeous images it could produce - sparkling wedding rings atop handwritten invitations and the equally heart-stopping close-ups of tiny baby hands and feet nine months later. As a seasoned wedding and portrait photographer, I wanted this lens!
It didn't matter that I already had three excellent lenses in my gear bag.
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| Street Grates - Bannalec, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
I was sure nothing I owned could produce what the coveted Canon 100mm macro 2.8 could.
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| Happy Motoring - Melgven Car Show - Melgven, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
Fourteen months later, savings and (mostly Pinterest) research completed, I proudly announced to my husband my decision to buy the lens before leaving for our three month (mostly European) sabbatical.
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| Statue of Liberty, Pont de Grenelle - Paris, France August 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
This was just so that it would be delivered and ready to use at my friend's wedding the weekend we returned home in November.
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| Les Feuilles - Paris, France August 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Love Locks - Paris, France August 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
Ask and Ye Shall Receive
Did I mention this buying process took time?
Big decisions do that to me.
I'm not a Consumer's Digest "Best Of" person.
I'm a "Wait! Don't spend the money because we might owe additional taxes!" person.
I'm a "Wait! Don't spend the money because we might owe additional taxes!" person.
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| Danger Sign near Electric Train Rails - Bannalec, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
This has been known to drive my husband nuts from time to time, but this time it drove him to an incredible act of kindness.
A Perfect Fit
Before I could fire up the laptop to place my online order, John appeared holding his own camera saying he was struggling with getting it to focus.
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| My Husband, My World, Out of Focus - London, England August 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
After a few minor adjustments, it hit me.
MY much-coveted lens was on HIS camera!!
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| Gargoyle vs Steeple - Chapel St Adrienne, Bannalec, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
I'm sure my face contorted, registering both shock and disbelief (and a bit of jealousy).
After a few emotional roller coaster seconds wondering why he would buy my lens for his camera, he told me it was actually a surprise for me. Then he related the story of finding the lens on eBay for me and jumping at its nearly half price listing.
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| Carousel - London, England August 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
It was supposed to be my birthday gift, to be given in a couple more weeks, later in August.
The fact that it fit on his camera as well as mine surprised him too.
(None of my other lenses fit his Canon Rebel.)
This perfect fit made it the perfect foil to present my present.
Be Careful What You Ask For
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| Star Flyer - London, England August 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
a decision.
I'd bring the new (used) lens with me on Sabbatical, pairing it with my backup camera, a Canon 5D Mark II. I'd self-impose an assignment: find out what this lens and I could do, together.
Could I find a story, my story, and do it with one hand figuratively tied behind my back? See, no travel log will ever tell you to take this lens as your only working lens on a once in a lifetime trip. (Neither would I, by the way.)
How far would I be willing to go - forwards OR backwards - to push the limits of my own creative expression on this bucket list adventure?
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| L'Arbre Sombre - The Ponds, Rosporden, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| La Fleur Jaune - The Ponds, Rosporden, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Fields of Sheep - Near Le Mont Saint-Michel, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| La Pleut de Paris - Paris, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Tree at No Tide - A view from Mont Saint-Michel, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| La Fleur Rose - The Ponds, Rosporden, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Branches of Sunset - Bannalec, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| A View toward Trafalgar - London, England August 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
As an aside, John and I had taken one big trip where we shared one camera.
Honestly, it was sheer stupidity even back then to think sharing a camera would have been a tenable situation.
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| No Tide - Mont Saint-Michel, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
Death or a desert of loneliness loom for those naive enough to think that two creative, strong-willed, overworked, on the edge photographer-type people could share one camera without some tension creeping in. |
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| Les Deux Portes - Bannalec, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
So, on this trip, since John would be bringing his own camera paired with its 24mm so perfect for capturing the wide, full on, iconic vistas we'd be traveling to, I felt there could be no loss of coverage if we shared our files along the way.
I also thought that if we both carried only one lens, surely our backs and shoulders would silently thank us as we'd fall happily into bed each night - ibuprofen free!
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| Bridge detail - London, England August 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Big Ben at Sunset - London, England August 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
Led Out to the Desert Anyway
Sabbatical - it's where you cease working, with the express intent of resting or studying, often abroad.
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| Factory Exit - Bannalec, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
It's designed mostly for those in teaching, counseling and ministerial positions, for people like my husband, who as a pastor/teacher/counselor needs to retreat to keep burnout at bay.
John has now been granted two such rests (one for every seven or so years of service) by our thoughtful church leadership. And I am assuredly one of the most grateful beneficiaries because not only do I get to do one of my favorite things
- travel with my favorite person -
- travel with my favorite person -
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| Reflections of John and Kelly - Concarneau, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Cherub Lamp Post - London, England August 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Apollo's Fountain - Le Palais de Versailles, Versailles, France August 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
but I also get to receive in return a refreshed and restored husband somewhere along the course of our lengthy exile.
Bonus: I am restored too.
Bonus: I am restored too.
ISO-lated
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| Autumn Calls - Bannalec, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
3 months together.
Just you and your spouse.
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| Stuck Here - London, England August 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
Can a simple change of scenery change anything?
If all the pressures could be instantly removed, could change happen instantly also?
I like these questions because the implied answer isn't far from the truth.
A freedom does exist when and where barriers are removed but not all problems fall away easily or quickly.
Good things take time.
Good things take time.
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| Sunset Walk 1, Yellow Skies - Bannalec, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Sunset Walk 2, White Washed - Bannalec, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Sunset Walk 3, Green Moss - Bannalec, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
As John and I walked
in the footsteps of great lovers,
in the footsteps of great lovers,
great poets,
great artists,
and great dreamers,
together but in a very real way, separate,
silently immersed in our own thoughts and cameras,
together but in a very real way, separate,
silently immersed in our own thoughts and cameras,
we found our hearts and minds needed not only refreshing, but tending.
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| Keeping Watch - Atop Notre Dame - Paris, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Chapel at the base of Mont Saint-Michel, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
Balancing any relationship, no matter how good it is, with finding personal rest is not an easy task.
As a photographer, it's incredibly easy to lose yourself in your camera, and subsequently in your editing software.
As a wife of a husband on sabbatical, it's also very easy to play the martyr in order that he rest. Staying silent, lagging behind, you pull the passive-aggressive thing where you hope your absence will be noticed.
But is it healthy to compete with anything, let alone technology, grandeur, fulfillment?
Should one silently believe they're giving room for the other to thrive while they themselves feel like they are fading away?
If communication shuts down, what then?
As a photographer, it's incredibly easy to lose yourself in your camera, and subsequently in your editing software.
As a wife of a husband on sabbatical, it's also very easy to play the martyr in order that he rest. Staying silent, lagging behind, you pull the passive-aggressive thing where you hope your absence will be noticed.
But is it healthy to compete with anything, let alone technology, grandeur, fulfillment?
Should one silently believe they're giving room for the other to thrive while they themselves feel like they are fading away?
If communication shuts down, what then?
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| Fighting Inside Le Louvre - Paris, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
A Voice in the Wilderness
Even while our two lenses became a mirror of how we were seeing the world, reconciling that both those viewpoints were valid required good listening. And good listening in a marriage requires good talking.
Just as the 24mm spoke very accurately of what John was photographing, it reflected his own wide viewpoint on life. See, he doesn't dwell on the details the way I do. He does see them, most of the time, navigating deftly around and through them but I find when we're weary anyone can lose clarity, missing part of the picture as a result. The 100mm lens proved to be more like me - tricky with its narrow, scrutinizing perspective, almost private at times, shallow, yes, yet still needing its strong voice to be heard,
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| Puddle of Hope - Bannalec, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
but not always choosing the right details to zero in on.
It's funny, but at the beginning of the trip, I think my focus was misaligned - not literally of course. What I mean is that many of my shutter clicks at that point were more of a desperate exercise in manufacturing beauty instead of simply capturing it, much like my manufactured silence was my desperate attempt to convey my need to John. Technically these efforts could be acceptable but not truly powerful.
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| A Rose grows in Bannalec - Bannalec, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Nuts - Bannalec, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Seed Pods - Bannalec, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Changing of the Guard - Buckingham Palace - London, England August 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Heart You Paris - Atop Notre Dame - Paris, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Yellow Boat Between Yellow Rocks - Plage du Raguenez, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| La Porte Ouverte - Mont Saint-Michel, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| The Piers of Omaha Beach - Normandy, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
My right pointer finger and my left stretched brain were also finally working together to create a more accurate expression of my story, our story - John's and my marriage, our sabbatical and the union of me and my lens.
Now I felt I could find the intertwined beauty and love that had previously been hidden in plain sight.
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| Old Gate with New Entry - Bannalec, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Fenced in Hearts - Bannalec, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Gate Detail - Bannalec, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Stone Wall Detail - Bannalec, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Église Notre-Dame - Rosporden, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| La Porte Jaune - Concarneau, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Bell Tower - Concarneau, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Beauty and the Bush, Melgven Car Show - Melgven, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Anchored Bike, Melgven Car Show - Melgven, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Eglise - Moncontour, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Hotel Restaurant L'Escapade Stairs - Carentan, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Sea Weed - Plage du Raguenez, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
Please note: Neither these images nor my own thoughts could tell the whole story by themselves but they do provide some of the detail, the stuff that stands beside the big picture, the iconic image and says to it and its viewers
We exist too.
We have incredible allure and charm
but you must slow down to see and appreciate us.
True confessions: From time to time, I slowed down so much I backed up, just to be able to say I too took an iconic image of my own.
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| Iconic Paris - Paris, France August 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
I hope by the grace of God that these images will stir the curiosity in your own soul toward the less seen, the less noble, the less celebrated things. And I pray you will see all the beauty that surrounds you every day.
In the place where gratitude grows, peace will pervade. It did for John and me.
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| Our Lady of Drowned Souls - Pointe du Raz, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Farm House in Corn - Bannalec, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Ladder - Carnac, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Crucifixtion Flower - Bannalec, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Flowers Along the Road - Moncontour, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| A Lone Boat - Concarneau, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Details on the door of Notre Dame - Paris, France August 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Circus Lamp - Bath, England August 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Le Vieil Arbre - Bannalec, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Liking Lichen - Bannalec, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Landscape/Nursery - Bannalec, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Gas Meter - Chapel St Jacques, near Bannalec, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Along the road - near Moncontour, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Cease Fire Canon - Mont Saint-Michel, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Wall of Flowers - Bannalec, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Chapel St Adrienne - Bannalec, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Stacking Stones - Pointe du Raz, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Pick Me, Pick Me - Flower Gardens - Bath, England August 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| A Garden Road - Bannalec, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Hydrangea - Bannalec, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Sunset - Bannalec, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Dew drops - Bannalec, France September 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Man and Seagull - Omaha Beach - Normandy, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| A Morning Stroll - Blois, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
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| Vetements / Clothing- Moncontour, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
All images in this article post (save the one below) were taken in England and France during our August to October 2017 sabbatical, with a Canon 100mm 2.8 macro mounted on a Canon 5D Mark II. They were shot in manual mode (old school) and edited through Lightroom.
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| Kelly and John Kuvakas, Refreshed and Mended - Blois, France October 2017 (c) Kelly Kuvakas |
Posts
gorgeous (you guys and the photos)
ReplyDeleteThank you Marsha! 💕
DeleteYou see things so differently, beauty everywhere, the ability to capture be extraordinary in the ordinary. You speak and think with a poet's mind as well. What a joy and privilege to share your journey! Your vulnerability and humility, your openness are so encouraging ... a true gift to those who read your words. I am so thankful and blessed to call you friend!
ReplyDeleteThank you dear friend - for getting me, my humor and my heart!
ReplyDelete